jericsmith.com

BESTIARY:
Poetry by J. Eric Smith

1. The Luminous Squid

The luminous squid, the luminous squid,
the scientists found it, they found it, they did!
Deep off Hawaii in the trench where it hid:
the sleek and elusive and luminous squid.

The luminous squid, the luminous squid,
Jacques Cousteau missed it, as did Captain Kidd.
It was found near Oahu, and not near Madrid:
the newsworthy mollusk, the luminous squid.

The luminous squid, the luminous squid
does not eat blue heron or green katydid.
But if smallish crustaceans you want to get rid
then toss them right in with the luminous squid.

The luminous squid, the luminous squid,
(a sailmaker's hand tool is known as a "fid"
and his plug of tobacco he might call his "quid,"
and when spitting he could spot a luminous squid).

The luminous squid, the luminous squid,
has tendered a merciless takeover bid
to oust the sea slugs and to finally be rid
of those urchins, that crotchety luminous squid.

The luminous squid, the luminous squid,
has no superego, it's all about id
and the mating and eating and mating amid
some more eating, the gluttonous luminous squid.

The luminous squid, the luminous squid
was once in a footnote that started "ibid."
I would tell you about it, but time does forbid
me from saying much more of the luminous squid.

 

 

2. Algebra

The juvenile of the species
is just half the size of a pea,
feeding only on sewage and feces
'til washed by the rain to the sea.

Saltwater transforms the small creatures:
skin thickens, emergence of stumps.
The larvae are washed up on beaches,
and quiver in whirling black clumps.

Cocooned, pupal forms growing blurry,
building gristle and muscle and nerve,
'til they burst from the beach in a flurry,
killing everything in the preserve.

And the algebra of their destruction
is the simplest of all of the math.
It's the ultimate living reduction:
"X is greater than all in its path."

 

 

3. Supraboll Weevil

Supraboll weevil big mean bug
Eat up them children and dogs
Live out back by the smoking shed
Him nest made of rocks and logs

Supraboll weevil big sharp teeth
Cut through them fences and chains
Gnaw at the windows late at night
Leaving brown tobacco stains

Supraboll weevil big hard shell
Him paneled all like a truck
Meet him out on that mill pond path
Him happy, you out of luck

Supraboll weevil big long legs
With hairy old joints and nubs
Walking to find him lady bug
To bear him a nest of grubs

Supraboll weevil big old thing
Been living here long as sin
We try and try to make him leave
Him always come back again

 

 

4. Lamprey

Oh lamprey, dear lamprey, my petromyzon,
thine round jawless mouth like a small setting sun.
Yon sun, though, has no rasping tongue in its midst,
like thine: gently drilling through prey thou has kissed.

Oh lamprey, dear lamprey, thine ammocoetes
(as thine larvae are called) are the belles of the seas:
armed with nary a sucker nor even a tooth,
they dost oozeth just slime that doth capture their foodth.

Oh lamprey, dear lamprey, thine seven paired gills
and thine one dorsal nostril dost givest me chills.
Thou art sleek and effective, thy perfect design
rules out cold evolution, and proves the divine.

Oh lamprey, dear lamprey, through manmade canals
thou hast swum from the ocean to finer locales:
to Lake Huron, and Erie, and Michigan too,
to Superior, via Lake Ontarioo.

Oh lamprey, dear lamprey, yon Great Lakes are thine,
thou King of the Fishes Who Don't Have a Spine!

 

 

5. Dragon

From out of Silena they creep
with today's tribute: my two sheep.
I feign sleep, they close their gate.
Spearing the fat ewe with a claw,
I stuff her squirming in my maw,
as my paw crushes her mate.

Soon the shepherds' stocks will run low,
they have my terms, my quid pro quo.
They all know the rules of trade.
Two sheep are equal to one girl child,
tender and sweet, the flesh so mild,
not like the wild meat I raid.

I lounge, lazy, by my black lake
and pray the Lord their sheep to take,
craving a break from stinking ewes.
I've heard whispers of some new knight
bragging that he will lift their blight.
I think I might be amused.

I find his ambition charming and quaint,
It's been some time since I've eaten a saint.

 

 

6. Snapper

He's a mean one, he is, that ol' snapper,
been livin' in my pond for years.
But as soon as I call me a trapper,
that son of a bitch disappears.
If you're out near my pond, you don't linger,
you keep an eye out where you walk.
I've had to point out my missing finger
to folks who think that's idle talk.
When you go out to catch fish, he'll follow
just beyond the reach of your oar,
floatin' there, lookin' for bait to swallow,
that ol' stealin' son of a whore.
He's snapped him just enough folks around here
to get a taste for human blood:
I know of three fingers, five toes, an ear,
he's snapped right clean off at the bud.
He's the nastiest snapper ever spawned.
Why'd the son of a bastard pick my pond?

 

 

7. Where the Oysters Are

Push off in the bateau
and through the marsh we go,
way on out there where the oysters are.
Toss out the dredge and tong
drag and pull all day long.
It's our job to stock the oyster bar
at the brand new resort
where the rich folk cavort,
arriving in their expensive cars,
to eat oysters and drink,
all wrapped up in the stink
of imported fine hand-wrapped cigars,
never thinking of us
who work from dawn to dusk,
way on out there where the oysters are.

 

 

8. Owl House

asio, tyto, pulsatrix,
ninox, bubo, otus and strix,
latin genera
snakes from hera
minerva
artemis

nocturnal carnivorous bird
silent in the gloaming has stirred
night flights from owl house
meadow jumping mouse
before the plows
who has heard

soft pellets from the owl house rain
bed made bone and fur counterpane
down flow the feathers
chilly night weather
bird leather
charles's wain

lilith, askefruer, artemis
tiamat, morgan reminisce
night rites standing stones
grasshopper mouse bones
birthing moans
owl houses

 

 

9. Honeybee Kills

(queens eat their child-kings)
honeybee kills
june bug thrills
locust spits and sings
arthropod gang
swarm und drang
plague of flying things
hail of whining wings
rain of painful stings
pill bug rolls
walking stick strolls
dung the beetle brings
mantis prays
cicada stays
(buried twelve more springs)

 

 

10. The Secret History of the Ants

If it ever presents itself,
you should really jump at the chance
to hear an expert speak about
the secret history of the ants.

I caught such a lecture one time
at the community center,
and was really quite knocked out by
the knowledge of the presenter.

I hadn't known that ants had built
the Pyramids, the Sphinx and Rome,
or that they had come from Asia
seeking warmer, more fertile homes.

Or that ants developed printing
some time around 90 B.C.
The fact that they founded England
was quite interesting news to me.

Emperor Crematogaster
sent a fleet to Labrador's shores,
sailing westward through the Trade Winds,
then the Doldrums, with tiny oars.

The average ant can now expect
to live to be really quite old,
in large part because Labidus
found a cure for the common cold.

While people focus on their queens,
their role is one of tradition:
ants have been Social Democrats
since Myrmica's Third Edition.

It's been at least three decades since
they landed the first ant on Mars,
from their orbiting space stations
they are now heading for the stars.

The secret history of the ants
is compelling as you can see,
but it's been hidden all these years
by government conspiracy.

So write to your congressperson,
tell them to set these secrets free,
you'll make the world a better place
for six legged crawlers like me.

 

 

11. Barb

I guess I pity that bee that stung me,
her stinger ripped right out of her abdomen,
poison sac pumping automatically,
as she flew away, never to sting again.

I'm thinking of that bee as I lay here,
unable to move in my gardening frock.
My suffering, like hers, is quite severe,
as I'm succumbing to anaphylactic shock.

Each of us did our share to encourage floral growth,
until our unfortunate chance encounter killed us both.

 

 

12. Hunger

now the needing
come the needing
hunting calls
our calls

time for feeding
hungry feeding
scale the walls
sheer walls

raid the stable
silent stable
pick the meat
fresh meat

to the table
set the table
choose a seat
steel seat

and the prayers
say the prayers
bless this day
our day

silent slayers
bless the slayers
let us prey
we prey

 

 

13. Natural History

The ammonites farmed with diazinon
to kill eurypterids beneath the soil.
Which perished there in darkness 'neath the lawn,
but rose in eighty million years as oil,
which dinosaurs refined for natural gas
to cook their giant land sloths on steel spits.
As sloths were butchered, forests made of grass
rose from the plains to hide the black tar pits,
where trilobites would swim to lay their eggs.
Their larvae flew and bit the mastodons,
while tiny primates scampered round their legs,
feeding on the fresh diazinon.
At night, the primates fidget as they dream
of interstellar rockets powered by steam.

 

 

14. Plague

With a whining hum they come swarming
cross the prairie, down valleys, o'er plain,
little eating machines transforming
crops to dust that runs off with the rain.
As we stand in the mud and wonder
how our fields have been turned into bogs,
we again hear the sound of thunder
and look up as it starts raining frogs.

 

 

15. Bird Bush

In hand,
I have one bird.
There are two in that bush.
I smile, and point my flame thrower:
Three birds.

 

 

16. Cassowary

The ostrich is bigger and a good deal more famous
so if we've not heard of the cassowary, well, you really can't blame us:
It's just the world's second biggest bird, and as such gets forgotten,
though the lack of acclaim it receives is quite rotten.
There are three different species of this noble specimen,
(if you thought there were four, then we'd tell you to guess again),
there's a one-wattled species, and then a dwarf model,
and the Southern strain's marked by its two fleshy wattles.
Unlike most birds, the males of these species are tender,
standing tall (nearly six feet) as their offspring's defenders,
while the mother birds are off having good birdlike fun,
the males stay at home, guarding the nest and the young.
And as guards go, these guys have the means and the arms
(well not arms, really: feet are the way that they'd harm
any threats to their families, with five-inch long claws,
they dismember things threatening them with foaming jaws).
So three cheers for the Cassowary, hip hip hooray,
(I just wish the one standing here would go away).

 

 

17. Ratsnake

Sweet Lord Almighty, tell me what was that thing?
I ain't never seen nothin' like that 'round here!
Like a big salamander with greasy black hair,
long skinny body with little round ears,
and its feet was clawed, and it had sharp teeth
and a long naked tail, Lord, just like a rat!
Sweet Jesus, when it first jumped up on the bed
I woke up to pet it, thinkin' it was my cat.
Oh, Lordy, I 'bout fainted when I saw what it was
and I spooked it, too, with my screaming, I guess,
like a rocket it scooted on out of the room,
while I laid there shakin', Lord, I was a mess.
So I got me a stick an' a flashlight an' sack,
and spent hours a-huntin', dear God, all in vain,
since I never did find it, Oh Jesus, it scares me,
to think that it might come back in here again.

 

 

18. Cells

Miss Julizab Allers will live on forever
in dishes and beakers in researchers' labs.
Her cells are immortal, they're healthy and fertile,
in shimmering clusters they crawl 'cross their slabs.

Aggressively spreading, they're just like the cancer
from which they were cultured. As Julizab died
from lesions and tumors, the doctors spread rumors
of soft tissue samples which she could provide.

So instead of a patient, who might be reluctant,
the doctors could test their new cures on her cells,
they could treat them and kill them, make them lie still, then
grow more for the next batch of research as well.

Poor Julizab Allers was buried a pauper,
her grave dug and filled without marker or stone,
while her cells spread and flourished, exquisitely nourished
by wealthy old doctors who she'd never known.

Do we pity her plight? Do we take up her cause?
Are her friends and her family aware she's alive
in those beakers and dishes? Were those her wishes?
That she would die, while her cancer survived?

 

 

19. Pests

Unleash the hounds and let the falcons fly;
our fields are filled with rats and mice and moles
who eat our wheat and tunnel 'neath our rye.
Unleash the hounds and let the falcons fly,
to hunt the vermin in our food supply,
to rip them from their nests and hidden holes.
Unleash the hounds and let the falcons fly;
Our fields are filled with rats and mice and moles.

(We bar the gates with iron rods and logs,
to hide from hunting birds and prowling dogs).

 

 

20. The International Brotherhood of Bridge and Tower Trolls, Local 801

Enough with the under the bridge nonsense.
Who can sleep with all that trickety trot?
The lonely towers, too, that gig is tiresome:
up there, in the summer, it gets too hot.

(Though it's still kinda fun crushing people with rocks,
or hoovering lambkins that have strayed from their flocks).

We need to organize, get together,
send a delegation somewhere, and soon.
We want to move to the suburbs and rent movies,
porn surf all night and then sleep until noon.

(We can get some gold-spinning nasty little gnomes
to help us raise the cash we need for our new homes).

And a dental plan, we sure need that bad,
those billy goat bones are hell on the jaws.
I think we should demand eight weeks paid vacation,
and contracts with some sort of no-trade clause.

(Unless, of course, they want to send us someplace posh,
with king sized beds, good room service and lots of dosh).

Imagine an army of us marching
to Lincoln's memorial, late at night.
We have nothing to lose but bridges and towers:
Working trolls of the world, rise up, unite!

(I dunno . . . seems like a lot of hard work, for what?
Everything I need's down stream in that peasant's hut).

 

 

21. The Slime Mold Sonnet

The myxomycetes are back again.
They're crawling (slowly) cross the mulch we've spread.
Like yellow satin sacks with jam within,
they ooze and flow across our flower beds.
The blob we see is their plasmodium:
a mass of nuclei in one cell wall.
Most folks regard them with some odium,
but they don't really bother me at all.
When dried, the oozing blob releases spores,
that spread by wind, then creep across our yard
to each our mulch. They grow and grow some more,
becoming multinucleate and large.
I know that I should kill them and be done,
instead I move them elsewhere, just for fun.

 

 

22. Quaternary Paleoecology

foraging foresters fly through the trees
hunters and gatherers gather and hunt
suffering sailors succumb to the seas

doctors and lawyers make law and disease
the pick of the litter devours the runt
foraging foresters fly through the trees

tropical forests grow cool by degrees
spinning off cyclones behind polar fronts
suffering sailors succumb to the seas

snow bound, the hunters and gatherers freeze
chipping at ice 'til their stone points grow blunt
foraging foresters fly through the trees

up in the canopy, over the breeze
lawyers and doctors are safe from the brunt
suffering sailors succumb to the seas

runts at the forest's edge, hugging their knees,
pining for sea air, they gibber and grunt
foraging foresters fly through the trees
suffering sailors succumb to the seas

 

 

23. Load Bearing Member

While my load is far heavier than I am,
I'll be damned if I drop it now.
I've got to get it home somehow,
fast as my legs will allow.

The path is uneven and strewn with rocks,
the clock's taking time away.
I've been travelling hard all day,
to get this home straightaway.

I'm bruised and sore and my load is battered,
my tattered feet have been abused.
I count my steps, three sets of twos,
and sniff for familiar views.

So that load was far heavier than I was,
but because I was sore and lame,
I just couldn't defend my claim
when the meat-eating flies came.

I was home ten minutes, then ordered out
to the south, we'd blazed a new trail.
We set out, antennae to tail,
to bring home loads, without fail.

 

 

24. Field Agents

"Let him out, he's coming now, he's alone,"
(I can not tolerate the taste of this megaphone).
Deep in the coop, the fox, he sees that some hens have flown,
his cover's blown, (tympanic bone, Rosetta stone).

And then the hawk drops down from his perch on high,
(spearing the fox through, he lets out a little cry),
Justice is quick here, we stand and we watch him die,
I dunno why (fluorescent dye, blueberry pie).

We pull the poor poultry out from the killing floor
(some of the pups get sick there in the feath'ry gore),
out on the lawn, we stack them up and note the score:
it's twenty-four (esprit de corps, espectador).

Back in the barn, now, safe in our little stalls
(I watch those damn bugs climbing around the walls),
We sleep and eat hay, waiting 'til duty calls,
as the time crawls (Niagara Falls, no one recalls).

 

 

25. Gemini Snake

Gemini Snake coming out of the forest,
all through the night, he rolls on, he rolls on,
I had a dream he was headed this way, and
I'm thinkin' he'll get here tomorrow, 'round dawn.

Gemini Snake at the edge of the farmlands,
he never stops, he rolls on, he rolls on,
went to the church to tell Preacher he's coming,
and bone up a bit on those visions of John's.

Gemini Snake in the next village over,
spinning off sparks, he rolls on, he rolls on,
on the horizon, we see smoke arising,
we tend to our crops and chew bitter pecans.

Gemini Snake coming faster and faster,
right into town, he rolls on, he rolls on,
passes the town square and court house on Main Street,
damned if he doesn't roll right to my lawn.

Gemini Snake passes straight through my property,
he doesn't stop, he rolls on, he rolls on,
where he is headed now, I can't imagine,
but I'm quite relieved by the fact that he's gone.

 

 

26. Hunters

i.
walking through the wet webs
that laced the darkened vale
stepping on the spiders falling down upon the trail

ii.
dreaming hard of violence
beneath a hunter's moon
he woke up paralyzed inside a silken grey cocoon

 

 

27. Volvox

the ones equipped with whips
steer those of us who breed
we all depend for nourishment
upon the ones who feed

we're quite the colony
all thousand of us here,
a clustered ball of sticky cells,
a green and perfect sphere

inside us, smaller globes
grow bigger by the day
in time, our children split our walls
and then they float away

 

 

28. Gorge

The gorge divides the city down
its middle, like a gash.
Four bridges span the rocky rift,
that teems with scum and trash.

The houses on its crests are nice,
their neighborhoods are clean.
The business district buzzes like
a well-oiled cash machine.

The surface dwellers up there think
it's dead and still down here.
They only pay attention when
their children disappear.

And when they're down here looking for
their daughters and their sons,
we laugh inside our little caves
just like we've always done.

 

 

29. Don't You Touch That Thing

don't you touch that thing
there's no tellin' what it's got
even when it's dead, it might could sting
i think that broken part right there is its wing
this might be the one that flew 'round here last spring
right before the weather got real hot
listen, don't you touch that thing
who knows what it's got

your uncle he shot one in the woods one time
it came right at him so he just fired
lucky shot, cut through its spine
screamin' and dyin'
all black blood and slime
he told me what had transpired
when he shot one in the woods one time
it screamed as it flew at him so he just fired

thing is, I can't think just how
this one ended up dead on the ground
listen, you run on home real quick now
tell your uncle what you found

 

 

30. The Remora Sonnet

 

Remoras is the bestest fish there is
(except for maybe lampreys). Look them up:
their dorsal fin a classic piece of phys-
iogony, they're nature's suction cup.
They're in the order "discocephali"
(of course, that means "a disc upon the head")
and cling to zippy fishes swimming by,
though sometimes riding passing ships instead.
While coarser folks may call them "sucker fish,"
methinks "remora" sounds mellifluous,
and I would never serve them on a dish,
but, rather, I would seat them next to us.
So you would care to join us now for lunch?
My friends and I have copepods to crunch . . .

 

 

31. Tapeworm

 

Does he live in your intestine?
(Yes, he does, the tapeworm, yes)
Did you know you let him get in?
(Yes, you did, the tapeworm, yes)
When you didn't wash your fingers
(No, you didnt, bad boy, no)
After play where kitty lingers
(Pretty kitty's tapeworms, yes)
Do you feel his little hookies
(Yes, his hookies, tapeworm teeth)
Clasping where you digest cookies
(Yes, he likes them, tapeworm, yes)
You get thinner, he gets fatter
(Yes, he does, the tapeworm, yes)
Mom and Day say "What's the matter?"
(No, don't tell them, bad boy, no)
Tapeworm healthy, tapeworm long
(Yes, he lengthy, tapeworm, yes)
Tapeworm likes this little song
(See him dancing, tapeworm, yes)
Do you like your little buddy?
(Yes, you do, the tapeworm, yes)
Even when you're feeling cruddy?
(Don't get mad at tapeworm, no)
Makes his home in your intestine
(Yes, he does, the tapeworm, yes)
Aren't you glad you let him get in?
(Yes, you are, you good boy, yes)



Copyright 1985-2008: J. Eric Smith.

Leave the Critters!